


Aubade

by watermelonsuit



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode: s05e14 In Purgatory's Shadow, Episode: s05e15 By Inferno's Light, Grief/Mourning, Insomnia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 20:38:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8768461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watermelonsuit/pseuds/watermelonsuit
Summary: When Garak sleeps, he sleeps in the bed Enabran Tain made for himself, the cot Tain died in. He doesn’t sleep much.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _But in my arms till break of day_  
>  Let the living creature lie,  
> Mortal, guilty, but to me  
> The entirely beautiful.
> 
>  
> 
> — W.H. Auden, “Lullaby”

When Garak sleeps, he sleeps in the bed Enabran Tain made for himself, the cot Tain died in. He doesn’t sleep much.

Julian sleeps on the floor beside Garak’s cot most nights. He gets up to treat Worf’s wounds and change his bandages when he returns late from combat (it _is_ combat). They keep quiet, thinking Garak is asleep, but Garak can hear Worf’s breathing: shallow and even until it’s not, until the sound of it cuts the air. Martok stirs when he hears it too.

When Julian finally lies down again, folding his hands beneath his head like a child, Garak lets his hand slip down from his cot and hang close enough to Julian to feel his warm breath. Julian keeps up the pretense of sleep for a little while before he presses closed lips to the back of Garak’s hand. Garak’s fingers brush Julian’s stubbled face, and Julian kisses the palm of Garak’s hand, then his wrist—gentle and remarkably chaste. The only intimacy they can afford.

Julian grasps Garak’s hand in his own and Garak’s heart stops, the silence stark enough to wake Klingons. Still, he can’t bear to let go, not yet, so their hands stay suspended between them, Julian’s hand clasped in Garak’s, listing as Julian falls asleep, held the more tightly as Garak does.

Garak awakens again to Julian’s hand squeezing his. He turns over to find Julian looking up at him from beside his cot, eyes soft in the bunker’s unchanging light. He squeezes Julian’s hand in return, then lets go: they’ve both realized he has to be the one who lets go. _You used to be better at this_ , Garak thinks, and smiles all too easily, all too sadly and sincerely.

“Good morning, Doctor.”


End file.
